Wow. So when I said I wanted to start blogging again, I promise I meant it, it’s just that sometimes, life gets in the way. Am I right or am I right??
My last post was way back in January and while that post was an update post in and of itself, I feel like this post needs to be a whole brand new update because SO much has changed in my life since January. SO MUCH!
In February, my husband and I spent most of the month painting and tending to all those outstanding “honey-do” tasks as we slowly started preparing our house to potentially list in the Spring, only to have the Ontario real-estate market kick into overdrive and end up selling our home in the Niagara region at the beginning of March. I’ll share a more detailed post about our buying and selling adventures in the future – what a freaking ride that journey was (spoiler alert: we bought our current home site unseen!)
So we started off March essentially homeless with a game plan to either rent a cottage for the summer or buy a trailer if we couldn’t find our next home in time. LOLz at us because it turns out that the real estate market only got more crazy and this was EVERYONES backup plan! We essentially drew a 90 minute commuting radius from Salar’s workplace and considered everything in that circle.
Basically, we threw a dart at the map and moved where it stuck – beautiful cottage country on the shores of Georgian Bay. I can’t even with where we ended up moving to – it’s the most perfect little French settlement village in Simcoe County, minutes to beaches in every direction (our hidden slice of heaven!) For the most part though, March was spent hard house hunting, losing out on multiple bid offers and feeling defeated more often than not
Until April came and we FOUND OUR NEW HOUSE! Its an 111 year old farmhouse and she’s so dreamy and charming. Just wait until you see her all done up. We signed the deal for our new home on April 6, and closed on May 3. Yes, it was INSANE! Did I mention we also have a 5 year old, 3 year old and two cats?! The remainder of April was spent packing and making all of the arrangements that come along with a move and new home.
We moved into our beautiful new home on May 3, 2021 and it’s been such a wonderful new start for our family. In the few short months that we have lived here, we’ve put so much love, care and tenderness into the home and our own healing journeys. It’s been so beautiful to watch all of our hard work pay off.
June/July/August we essentially just relished in country life. Star-filled nights, the sound of frogs singing, swooping bats at dusk, crickets singing us to sleep – we’ve just soaked it all in.
In September, our eldest started kindergarten for the first time – it was a momentous step for the whole family as we kept her in daycare for an extra year with the uncertainty brought on in the pandemic last year. Looking back, my husband and I are still so happy with our decision to do this and recognize our immense privilege that we were able to be able to do so. It helped on so many fronts, not only the consistency of knowing she would continue to receive top-notch education but also that she would continue to be with recognized and loved by teachers/caregivers who also understood her current speech delays. Now she is thriving in her new school and making so many friends!
October was met with the most beautiful of colours in our new country home – the changing leaves here are nothing short of breathtaking. We spent the month being extra spooky with decorations, pumpkin carving, Hocus Pocus on repeat and a night of trick-or-treating for the books.
So now here we are. November. 11 months since my last post.
What else has changed?
Everything my friends, everything.
Let me tell you, in the 6 months that we have lived here, I’ve grown into an entirely new being.
I’ve accepted the me who was always there. The one I buried deep down inside of me as a child when I felt that it wasn’t safe to share my true self with the world. The version of me I had been hiding.
Who is she?
Who am I?
Well, turns out I’m gay. Still in love with my husband and also so very gay for women. I’m also more tattooed – working on my botanical “where’s waldo” sleeve (I’ve always loved tattoos but was always told that men wouldn’t find them attractvie – I know, barf). I’m in an ethical non-monogamy marriage with my husband as we explore what being gay means for me and how we will support and love our family as we move forward on this journey.
I’m weird and I’m quirky.
I’m feminine and I’m masculine.
I now have a nose piercing and I’ve cut my hair the shortest it’s ever been.
I’m currently awaiting DNA tests to hopefully discover more about my family history and who my biological father may be.
I’m the nerdy, dorky, witchy, gay rock loving kid that I’ve always been, deep, deep inside. She’s always been there. I just needed to embrace her again. And she feels like home.
So, there’s a quick update for today’s morning coffee. And please know that I am going to stick with the whole regular posting thing this time. I’ve even set up a beautiful new desk & office space specifically with the purpose of blogging! I know that my story is important and I know that sharing my story not only heals me but somehow, others who find it and can connect with it. So I will share. Because if I can help even just one person feel a little less alone, then that’s good enough for me.
What do you want to see in this space? Leave me some comments below with some ideas you’d love to see me deep dive into. The pressures of motherhood, generational trauma, going no-contact with family, coming out later in life – it’s all on the table. What should we talk about first, friends?